CoDependent
by Pand0r4
Summary: For Axel it's hard living with the fear of losing loved ones. Even harder when they get forcibly thrown back into his life by means not so favourable. Will the dreams and voices show him the truth or will he continue to ignore all the signs around him as long as it means Roxas will stay? Some things just aren't adding up. AkuRoku, Dark Themes, Mild Language, Rated M
1. Denial

**A/N -** Just some quick details about this story before we get started. This was my old FF Another Story. Renamed, Rewritten. This is the first chapter so things will start off slowly. I've done my best to edit it as much as I could without completely changing the context.

Story is Kingdom Hearts, I do not consider this a crossover with Final fantasy since all characters present exist in the KH world.  
LGBT. I prefer not to use the term yaoi.  
Mild language, Dark themes such as some forms of schizophrenia, Depression, Anxiety, Dealing with loss and grief.  
Acts of violence. Maybe some anger issues in the future. Rated M for these reasons.

If these subjects are touchy for you, I'd advise to read with caution.

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the current characters mentioned in this chapter however some OC's will be used in later chapters.

Now let's get started.

* * *

 **CoDependent**

 **o1 – Denial**

 _"Denial helps us to pace our feelings of grief. There is a grace in denial._  
 _It is nature's way of letting in only as much as we can handle"  
_ \- Elisabeth Kubler-Ross

* * *

 _Have you ever loved a friend?_

Whispered the lightning as it struck somewhere in the distance, crackling into a buzz.

A cold breeze shot by, "Yeah.." it replied as it weaved itself through locks of hair.

 _How many?_

"Just one." was the reply as droplets of rain drove down the cheek of someone who looked out into that distance.

 _"Just one? How much did you love this friend?"_

A shaky sigh escaped those lips, "More than anything," he spoke words he didn't want to think, "he was my everything."

 _And how did that make you feel?_

He blinked slowly, drops of water clinging closely to his eyelashes as he lowered his head, "on a winters day my soul was warm." looking down his eyes darted side to side, "On a rainy day my reflection was more alive. I felt like my world had been crumpled up like trash and thrown away; like I was just a piece of trash."

 _And what did you do?_

"I closed my eyes. Hoped he'd come back." he chuckled softly, "Of course seconds into minutes. Minutes into hours. Hours to days... weeks then months passed." he shook his head, fist clenching, "I finally opened my eyes... he was never coming back." then those fingers slipped as the wind blew by, "I felt abandoned." said the man whose arms hung loosely, sorrow over filling his heart.

 _You felt lonely?_

"Of course I did."

 _He's back now._

 _Just not the way you wanted._

 _Still lonely?_

The voice replied, another crack of light breaking the sky apart. He closed his eyes for a brief moment, only opening them again to look down upon the street that was below him. The clock tower had always been a safe place to come to but it wasn't safe anymore, "Yeah.." was the answer.

 _Alone._

 _Forgotten in the existence of life._

 _One that means nothing._

 _Everything, everyone._

 _The one who mattered; gone._

 _Tearing a hole deep inside your core._

 _One that rips away at your soul._

 _An all over whelming feeling._

 _Dark and tainted._

He didn't say anything, just closed his eyes again, taking a deep breath to hold.

 _You're alone now._

 _He's gone._

 _Just get it over with._

And so he did. He took that step off the edge of the tower; the feeling of nothing beneath his feet as he fell.

* * *

Axel shot up from his bed; breathing heavy, eyes wide open and sweat pouring from his brow. He frantically searched the walls of his room before letting out a shaky sigh; running an equally shaky hand down his face and through his hair. He leaned over, stretching his back out as he laid his forehead on top his of knees; the fabric of the blanket cool and only slightly comforting.

It was dark and quiet in his room but inside his chest was the beating of a drum.

After a few minutes that dragged on, he managed to calm himself down and reached over to turn his lamp on; his eyes falling on the clock. It was roughly five in the morning, meaning he still had a whole hour left before he actually needed to get up. He sighed in annoyance. It wasn't the first time he'd done this.

In fact; how many times was he going to have that same dream over and over? How many times would it try and mess with his head; make his nights miserable? These were things he wondered greatly. All it managed to do was bring back painful memories he tried so hard to block out.

It reminded him of when he felt like nothing, even his life didn't mattered. It had been a year since some things had happened and he was trying to move on in his own way but, it seemed that trying to get over it was becoming nearly impossible.

So he stood up, cracked his back and made his way into the bathroom. Bare feet lightly tapping against the cool tile, he flipped the light switch on and winced at his reflection. Face pale, his hair; ragged. Small signs under his eyes that sleep was coming up short.

"Seriously man.." he mumbled out loud to himself, "Get it together.." tugging his clothes off he dragged himself into the shower; thoughts pouring down the drain with the rest of the water.

His childhood came to mind many a times. Back when he had a friend; a best friend whom he grew up with. This friend had moved a year ago, very unexpectedly. Afterwards the teen was in a state of shock. A lack of emotions as one would call it. He never really accepted the news until a while later when the realisation that what had happened had, well, actually happened.

He knew it probably sounded stupid, him of all people grieving over the lost of one friend. Axel had a history of not taking well to losing people. This time around he began to fake his feelings. Fake smiles, fake laughs just to get by so people wouldn't bother him. Truth was he was a warm person; when he really did smile. Knowing he couldn't fool those around him forever he had already began to suspect that this worried his friends and family. They watched out for him, silently though. Something he appreciated. They knew better than to barter on to him with questions about how he was doing or how he felt. If they knew any better they would know he felt empty. It was hard watching someone you loved leave you like that.

 _Still lonely?_

He shuddered as he stepped out of the hot shower and onto the cold bathroom tile. That voice wouldn't let it go.

"Ugh.." he groaned out loud, "Maybe I'm just tired.." He blinked at the version of him in the mirror, rubbing a towel through his hair.

The voice he heard sounded like him. Like the real him he left back in the real world. The one he locked up inside his head because he didn't want to be bothered with it. The one who knew the truth, knew what was really going and wished to express that. To scream out loud all the things it knew, but he ignored it.

Walking back into his bedroom, his wet feet picking up the random fuzz balls from the carpet; he went to the drawer, grabbing some clothes and slipping them on. He soon then flopped on the bed and looked to his clock. It wasn't even six, yet he couldn't think of anything else to do at this time.

"When'd it start.." he said to his ceiling fan above him, "The nightmares.. the voice.. this waking up so fucking early shit.." it had been too long to pinpoint the moment. A few months plus some odd weeks ago he assumed.

He blinked up at the ceiling fan, thoughts pouring through his head before a small ring buzzed within the back of his memory.

His brows pulled together, "Today's.." he slowly sat up and tilted his head to himself, "Nah it can't be.. not yet anyway.."

He then lifted his brows as he reached under his pillow, pulling his cell phone out. Flipping it open he clicked on the c key, popping his calendar open. He silently thanked himself for this habit of keeping dates.

Blinking however didn't take away the fact that sure enough, there it was. A small little red box around the day under the current day. He clicked down and pressed on the centre key. Screen popping a window open that read 'I'm sorry' and nothing else; that was it.

August thirteenth. He flipped his phone closed and shut his eyes. It wasn't today but a week. A week from this day. The day that he...

He opened his eyes and stared up at the ceiling fan. The sudden urge to vomit was great in his stomach; the sensation making its way up his chest, burning him and his heart. Sitting up in bed, he reached over and grabbed his bag; pulling the strap up and walking out of the room, door softly clicking behind him. The hallway was quiet as well as the stairs down to the kitchen. He took note of his sister, up early for a change, laying her head on the bar.

Axel was a twin. His sister Kairi and him turned out to be two completely different people however. Different shades of red hair; his brighter, hers more darkly toned. Two of a kind coloured eyes. Opposite genders. He being taller than the other as well as being the one older by a handful of minutes. Fraternal twins.

Tossing his backpack down next to a bar stool, Axel reached up into the cabinet. Shoving the glass into the water fountain of the fridge, he stared; lips twitching slightly as the feeling of needing to vomit trickled its way up his throat.

He proceeded to chug the fluid down in hopes of sealing the demon away. Once the glass was placed next to the sink, he walked over to his other half and shook her shoulder. No response though so he shook her again and even went as far and lightly whacking the back of her head. He still got no response out of the girl and simply huffed to himself.

She did manage to roll her head and let out some sort of grumble. Axel just lifted his brow at this and shrugged his shoulders. Reaching down to grab his bag again he made his way out the door into the foggy humid air towards his car.

He shoved his keys into the door, yanking it open; throwing himself in seemed okay at this point, barely missing hitting his head as he sat down. His bag taking over the seat next to him as he put his keys in; the radio would fill the eerie silence.

Of course not for long as he pulled his brows together, shutting it off. It was too much racket for the morning and his headache. Then it hit him, how long had he had this headache? Massaging the bridge of his nose, he set a time on his phone. A short 'rest of his eyes' as he called it, wouldn't hurt anything. Plus he needed to wait for his sister to come outside so they could go to the school. Today was group orientations after all.

 _In a week huh.._ a voice echoed throughout the car.

Axel hummed, "Yeah.. it's a Wednesday too.. go figure."

 _The thirteenth.._ some birds chirped nearby.

"Yeah.."

 _Of August.._ the voice didn't sound too pleased by this.

He arched his brow in semi sleep, "Um yeah.. that an issue?"

 _Oh no. Just.. important._

Rolling his eyes, even as they were shut he replied "Not really. Just another day."

 _Oh it's special._ the bird's chirping grew closer.

"What makes you say that?"

 _He's coming.._ was the reply and Axel felt his brow flinch.

Suddenly before he had the chance to say, or think anything else on the matter, a vibrating beeping could be heard throughout his car.

He grimaced opening his eyes and flipping his cell open. Smashing the centre key and opening his car door with a bit more force than he really needed, the following actions proceeded; the redhead went inside, grabbed his sister, dragged her to the car, she got in, then he slammed the door a bit too harshly flinching his sister awake and the two finally set off to school.

It was a short drive as Axel turned the keys, started the vehicle and drove off. Curving roads, small buildings, tree after tree were the only things this typical urban place had to offer. After finding a space to park in and quietly noticing a small white car driving past him, he lifted a brow. The sudden feeling that swept over him at the sight reminded him of something along the lines of déjà vu if nothing less.

Shutting the car off he leaned over to shake his sister's shoulder, "Hey Kai wake up.. we're here."

"Mm.." she lifted her head and looked over at him, "School already?"

He lifted a brow at her, "Nah Kai, it's just group orientation. Go sign up for your sports classes okay.."

"Wait.." she mumbled, grabbing her stuff and trying to unbuckle herself, "Why are you here then?"

"I'm your ride smart one." was his reply as he reached over, undoing the seat belt that kept her trapped before finally answering, "Here for music.."

"Oh.." she muttered as he then thanked her brother and nodded; the two of them getting out of the car and making their way towards the building they finally took their separate routes.

Axel pushed his way through the glass doors and into a separate building from the main school. A sigh escaped his lips. After reaching the student's lounge, the redhead saw a few people there but choose not to greet them. Instead he headed for the desk with the schedule slips and grabbed one; heading outside through the back doors to the lunch area. He lifted himself on top of a picnic table, pulling a pen out of his bag and began to fill out the form.

The sky was clear, the clouds far away; wind soft and warm for August. The quiet hum of cars, people and chirping birds made him stop; take a deep breath and look around.

"It's just.. so calm.." he mumbled to himself, "Feels off.."

After spacing out for awhile, he put his pen in his pocket; heading back into the band hall and sliding the paper into the submissions box. He nodded his head a few times at the people who waved and shot him smiles.

He had the rest of the orientation day before him, which was going to end at lunch. The rest of the student body who signed up for extra classes would be getting their schedules at the end of said lunch. That gave him a good few hours to do whatever. With the rest of the day in mind he headed past the band hall and down the long hallway, taking a left towards the main offices and his destination.

After sliding the door open, he stepped in and shut it softly, "Hey Aer.." he said with a small smile on his face.

Said person looked up and smiled widely at him, "Morning Axel. How was your summer?" she asked with a tilt of her head, palm and pen resting at the base of her jaw.

Axel relaxed a bit more, pulling up one of the chairs, sitting backwards and leaning over the back, "Boring just like every year."

Now Aerith was one of the few people Axel liked. She was a kind hearted lady, treated everyone in a motherly fashion and generally was someone that students liked. A school couldn't ask for a better nurse and student counsellor; that and she taught the health class. Axel however knew her more wild side.

After some chit chat with the lady, he found himself sitting with his chair next to the window, leaning his head against the frame. His elbow rested on the seal, head supported by his palm as ear buds lightly hung through his hair and into his pockets. His eyes closed, lyrics flowing through from the iPod in his pocket into his mind.

As he sunk further in a dazed, half awake, half asleep state, he barely took notice as the door slid open. Footsteps walking towards where Aerith was sitting, happily working on things.

 _You shouldn't be sleeping here y'know.. a_ voice said in the back of the redhead's head; the lyrics becoming a dull hum somewhere far away.

"Morning Aerith." a deep low voice chimed in the distance.

"Morning Xalden." she voiced her reply in a sweet manner.

"I've brought some more paperwork." he said softly, "Transfer student who has special needs."

"Special?" she replied, her words fluttering through Axel's headphones.

"Just a simple case of chronic migraines and sleep deprivation. It's simply a permission form so you can give him medication and let him lay down for awhile.." he trailed off.

Axel unconsciously shuffled in his seat as his feet began to grow numb. The sound of paper being tapped on wood echoed through his head.

"Oh.." Aerith softly exclaimed lightly to herself, "I never imagined him of all people.. Transferring back I take it?"

"Seems so.." came the blunt reply, "It's been a year since him and his brother moved away. I'm sure they'll be fine fitting back in."

The redhead flinched slightly, "I'm sure he'd love to hear the news." Aerith's voice reached across the ceiling.

Even with his eyes closed, Axel felt the pressed of eyes watching him. Aerith and Xalden were looking over in his direction. Heavy weighed feeling on his shoulders as he soon felt his heartbeat increase.

Speaking in a more hushed manner the older man's accent became more profound, "Oh I see Axel's here.. Napping before orientation?" the teen assumed Aerith nodded as he continued, "Alright. Well I'll be taking my leave."

 _Hear that? Transfer students,_ a voice said in a manner that fit the lyrics Axel had long ago blocked out to eavesdrop with.

Xalden and Aerith exchanged farewells before the door slid open, footsteps exiting and the entrance to the room shut again once more.

Axel lightly opened his eyes, turning the volume up on his iPod with his thumb. He glanced over to take note of the young woman as she flipped through the papers. Lightly licking the tip of her finger being turning to the next page.

The redhead's eyes slowly moved back down to see where he was slouching back in the chair, hands now in his sweatshirt pockets. He took a moment to study a small hole the was starting to form in his jeans.

 _Who do you think they are?,_ the voice asked over the song.

Axel increased the volume, his thoughts linking back, "How should I know?"

The voice hummed, but was lost within the images floating with the lyrics. Losing himself in them didn't seem like a bad thing at the moment.

The redhead started to stir a bit, feeling his body being shook back and forth by the shoulder; soft voice whispering to him, "Axel.. Axe time to get up hun.."

"Mm..?" he looked up, rubbing at his eyes only to meet up with those of Aerith.

She smiled gently at him, "Hey there sleepyhead, orientation is about to end." she stood more straightly, hands on her hips, "You should head into the auditorium."

He sat up and glanced at the door, "How much time do I have left?"

"Half an hour." she smiled brightly, causing him to slump back into his seat.

"Really?" he whined, "You could have let me sleep a bit longer."

"Ah but the chairs in there are cushioned aren't they?" she went to go back to her desk, tapping her pen, "I'm sure you'd rather get in there early and relax instead of in here."

"Point taken.." he nodded.

Standing up he stretched his limbs out and popped his back in the process. He shuffled a bit, reaching for his bag and tossed it over his shoulder. As he made his way towards the door, he went to go slide it open to notice a familiar face on the other side. Said face sent him a smile, so sliding the door open he returned it.

"Heya Axel." a dirty blond haired male said as he stepped inside beside the other teen.

"Uh hey Dem.. what's up?" he responded as he stood by the doorway, hand still on the sliding glass.

The other teen just shrugged, holding a smile to his face, "Oh just dropping some papers by." he motioned towards Aerith, plopping a stack of clipped papers on her, "Hey Aer.. brought these for ya."

"Thanks Demyx." she said as she picked the stack up, tilting her head, "Oh.. transfer papers. Thank you." she smiled a bit.

Demyx smiled back just as brightly and nodded, "Mhm."

Axel stood awkwardly in the doorway, raising an eyebrow before Demyx turned around to shrug his shoulder, walking out the door. So the redhead, following suit, slid the door closed behind him.

"So Axe.." Demyx said as he twirled around on his heels, "Heading to the auditorium?"

"Yeah.." was the simple reply.

"Coo', I'll come with then." the other said as the two began to walk down the hallway. After opening the doors and entering down the walkway, Demyx turned to the redhead, "So did ya sign back up for the music group?" he asked.

"Yeah I did." was Axel's reply, "Figured I might as well since it's our senior year and all."

"Well that's great! The guys really missed you." the dirty blond smiled as he took a seat off to the side, Axel slipping in next to him, "There were so many pieces we wanted to do last year but without you they pretty much just sucked."

The redhead let out a low chuckle as he leaned back and crossed his arms, "Well don't worry, as long as the boss man didn't get rid of my beaut then we're cool."

Demyx went to open his mouth to say something as he leaned to his side before he noted a friend of his walking down the aisles, "Yo Zex!" he called out, "Come sit with us."

Looking back for a moment, the redhead noted this as the silver tinted bluenette Zexion sat on the other side of Demyx. The two of them exchanged greetings before Demyx turned back to Axel, slightly nudging his arm.

"Oh yeah man, don't worry." he replied to Axel's earlier comments, "She's still in there."

At that moment however the principal went to stand near the podium. Tapping the microphone before giving his short speech to those who held their orientation before the rest of the school. Eventually the students present were all handed their schedules as their names were called out one at a time.

Once receiving their papers they were told to make their way out into the halls and were dismissed for the day till next week when classes started.

After making his way out into the hall Axel never got the chance to check his paper before the dirty blond snatched it away from his grip.

"Dude.. I gotta see what classes we got together." Demyx explained himself.

The taller redhead simply rolled his eyes and held his hands on his hips as he watched his friend's eyes dart along the page, "Well?" he asked.

"Well ya got Maths with me 'n Zex here. Then we got Science together with Larx." which Axel raised his brows at cause he didn't quite know who that was before Demyx chirped in, "And of course we all have band together."

The bluenette standing next to him simply crossed his arms. Light smile on his face as he turned to Axel, "I suppose you and I will be doing his maths homework for him in that case?" he directed, which the redhead laughed at the disappointed look on Demyx's face.

"Oh c'mon." he whined as Axel patted his shoulder, chuckling lightly, "I'm not that bad.."

Just then the dirty blond's younger sister made her way over. The girl has a small light frame. Her body covered in nothing but white clothing. Hair seeming brighter blonde that it should have.

"Hey guys, looking at schedules?" she asked. Her brother replied and went to reach out for hers to compare schedules.

"Well Axel, it seems we have gym together besides just band." the girl pointed out.

Axel mused over this, "Heh, yeah that's going to be interesting. Can you even run Naminè?" he teased.

"Oh hush you." Naminè softly chuckled, "Well c'mon Dem, mum's waiting for us."

"Alright, well later guys." he waved, the two of them leaving the redhead and brunette together.

Said bluenette spoke up, "I suppose I'll be heading home as well. It was nice seeing you again Axel. We should talk sometime."

"Yeah, you too.." he waved bye to the silver bluenette, before going off to find his sister so the two could be their way.

* * *

 **A/N -** That's that for the first chapter. I hope you enjoyed. I apologise for the slowness. Please do think of this as a prologue to get the story into the mood and place. Give you some idea of sorts. It'd mean a lot if you would Follow/Fav or review. If you see any grammar mistakes or issues I will be quick to fix them. Do point out issues to me. It means a lot. I will try to post new chapters every Sunday or every other Sunday to help motivate me to finally finish this plot line.


	2. Transfers

**A/N -** Here we are, Chapter two just like I promised on Sunday. Again I'll repeat myself here before we get started. I won't always do this at the beginning of each chapter. Maybe just the first three or so.

Story is Kingdom Hearts, I do not consider this a crossover with Final fantasy since all characters present exist in the KH world.  
LGBT. I prefer not to use the term yaoi.  
Mild language, Dark themes such as some forms of schizophrenia, Depression, Anxiety, Dealing with loss and grief.  
Acts of violence. Maybe some anger issues in the future. Rated M for these reasons.

If these subjects are touchy for you, I'd advise to read with caution.

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the current characters mentioned in this chapter except my OC Alina. The only OC's that will be in this story are in fact, parents.

Now then, let's get started

* * *

 **CoDependent**

 **o2 - Transfers**

 _There are great disciplines from being a sportsman that you can transfer into being an artist.  
_ _The preparation, the sacrifice, the constant desire to improve  
_ \- Matt Smith

* * *

When both redheads returned home their mother Alina was in the kitchen already cooking dinner; something that took Axel off guard and happily surprised him. Normally she would arrive home later in the evening, closer to when the sun was setting. Shrugging the thoughts off he placed his bag on the island bar, the noise causing his mother to turned around; wiping her hands on a small dish towel as she smiled over to him.

She was a lady of decent height; Axel guessed somewhere around five foot and six to seven inches or so. Her frame was rather average and her skin a pale complexion. Long softly layered red hair fell from a ponytail she wore high on her crown and her eyes were a contrasting violet blue that she shared with her daughter. Alina's features looked much younger than that of a thirty eight year old mother.

"Well you two are home early." she pointed out.

"Actually no.." he sat down in a chair, "You're the one home early. Today was only orientation."

She hummed in acknowledgement as Kairi made her way up to her room, "I got off my shift early for a change. So what are you going to do for the rest of the day?" she asked him, turning around to turn the stove off.

"I was actually thinking about fixing the piano and then maybe taking a nap or something."

"Oh?" she turned back around from the stove to face her son, "Nice to hear that you're taking an interest again. It's been awhile since I heard you play.. about half a year I think? Maybe more. So, how's your schedule this year?"

"It's okay.." he muttered lightly, picking at the hole forming in his jeans, "My classes aren't as spread out as before and since I'm a senior I get out earlier now since we don't have break."

"That's good." she said going to sit down at the bar herself, "Did you see any of your friends?"

"A few of them yeah.." Axel said laying his head down on the bar, "But today sucked.."

"Oh? Why's that?"

He sighed again, noting he'd been doing that a lot lately, "I sorta noticed this morning that uh.. next week, uh yeah."

"Next week?" his mother tilted her head in confusion. It may have been her imagination but it seemed as if her children were moving further and further away the lest she understood them these days, "Listen Axel, honey.." she started off, "I know we've never really talked about a lot of things, but if you have something on your mind you can tell me." she placed a hand over his, "Now.. Is this about school starting next week?"

Axel groaned internally, "I just noticed this morning that next week is _that_ day." he emphasised strongly.

She lifted a brow, almost edging him on, "That day for what?"

 _Dear Shiva and all that is cold.._ a voice rang in Axel's head.

"When.." the redhead finally just sighed and pulled himself together as he firmly stated, "They left. Remember? When they just got up and drove off without a single word or explanation.."

His mother sat there quietly, letting her son's words flow through her mind before gripping tightly to the hand placed beneath hers, "I'm so sorry Axe.." she placed her other hand over her mouth, huffing her breath in light of the information. Her heart beating faster as she visibly started to pick at her lips, "I didn't realise that.. I just.. haven't really thought about them for awhile now.."

Axel returned the grip on his mother's hand and gave it a firm squeeze , "It's alright mum.." he replied with a strained smile, "I think I've been avoiding the subject for a really long time.."

"Me as well." She admitted, "I knew it was around this time of year but.. so soon? Oh sweetheart I miss them all so much." she let out a long deep breath, "A whole year.. I hope they're alright." she let go of her son's hand, turned the barstool so that she stood up then made her way out of the room, down the hallway and out of sight.

The redhead continued to sit there, flipping his hands back and forth between each other on the table as he took the time to look around the kitchen. It really didn't seem like a year had past them by. Time moved by so quickly.

He could still picture his friend standing next to the sink as he sprayed water at the redhead. The two of them cooking for their chefs class, both sitting around, sharing meals with the family. All the holidays spent in this kitchen, his house. His home.

He could picture it as if he were watching it happen again. Quickly shunning the thoughts however, Axel closed his eyes for brief moment; just a blink and let everything slip from his grasp as he sunk back into the chair. Those things hadn't of actually happened. Things like that didn't belong in a world like this. He'd have to learn to let it go.

When Alina came back into the room her eyes were slightly red and her cheeks puffy as she placed a small box on the bar. She glanced to her son, the two of them staying quiet for a moment before he pulled his keys out of his pocket. He handed the lanyard over to his mother and watched as she took the smallest bronze key and slid it inside the lock.

Axel watched intently as his mother lifted the lip to the treasure box. The inside was draped in red felt and the dark oak still smelt strongly of wood. Inside it contained a small book, a few cards and a couple of rings along with some other small trinkets. Alina grabbed the book, an old photo album and wiped the dust off it's cover. The binding creaked as its heavy packed down body was opened up for the first time in years; revealing the amount of photos that had been taken over the course of time.

The young teenager seemingly went through a journey as he watched his mother go from a baby to a small child. She was always with her best friend in most photos and Axel watched them age. From school field trips to a day in the park. Holidays and school events. Their first dance, first prom, first everything always together.

Alina had a gentle smile on her face as she flipped through the pages of years and memories. She lightly placed her hand over her heart, then moved to touch her son's hand gently; pointing out a picture from many years ago, before the redhead and his sister been born.

What Axel saw was his mother and her best friend. Young and happy, both with shorter hair as they sat on the swings in the park downtown. The two of them with wide smiles as they both held onto their stomachs and leaned their heads in together, "That's you and your sister in there." his mother pointed out, "We both found out we were pregnant around the same time. Though I was a whole month ahead of her. It was a dream come true."

Axel lifted his brow and smiled at his mother, "Why's that?"

"Well." she started off, "There was no better feeling than growing up with my best friend. We were like sisters; she and I did everything together. To become mothers together was just an experience. And to think we both had our own set of twins no doubt. I'd never felt such happiness."

Looking back down Axel really peered into the photo. He could tell that the two girls in the picture had the brightest hopes for the future. Which seemingly brought down a wall of darkness in his heart. To think.. that those girls couldn't comprehend the what the future would hold for them. They just look so innocent and so happy. It was a shame really.

Axel turned to ignored the photo album as he reached inside the box pulling out cards that sat in the bottom. Most were 'get well soon' cards from a long time ago when his mother had been in the hospital for a minor surgery. Smiling lightly he remembered their tiny family reunion thanks to his mother's exploding appendix. He hadn't seen the rest of the family in a long time.

Placing those back inside for his mother to look over later he reached in for the rings. There were four of them in total. One was a thick silver band that dented in the middle in black; another the opposite. A thick black ring with a dented silver lining. The other two were small golden rings that he faintly remembered being told once that they were promise rings his father had given his mother years ago when they had first met.

The redhead nudged his mother's shoulder, showing the promise rings to her. She smiled softly and lifted the photo album to show him another picture of her. It was a matching photo to the last. Her and her best friend just a year later sitting on the same swings only this time with matching sets of twins in their arms.

* * *

With dinner done and over with, hands dry of dish soap and dishes placed back where they belong; Axel excused himself to his room. Face planting down onto the bed with his arms stretched out he glanced to the ring he had placed on his left thumb. Alina had told him that those rings were his father's. That he had made them during his high school days in a metal's shop. Said he could keep them, so Axel choose the black one with a silver lining, yet it only seem to fit his thumb and index finger.

Alina.. deep down her son felt more at peace knowing he wasn't the only one having a hard time. It wasn't just him dealing with all the confusion. Yet despite what should have been a comforting thought, this suddenly brought an ache to his heart. Even if they could go back and look over their memories; he figured they would just be painful.

Groaning in frustration he rolled to his side and curled himself into a tight ball. Thinking only bought him sorrow. Smiling faces on photo paper only crushed him.

So he sat up and with a quick close of his eyes the thoughts were gone as if they were never there to begin with. He was good with blocking out things when he needed to yet tapping his finger along his leg made the ring more apparent. Something about that brought the memories straight back and he furrowed his brows.

People at the school said something about new students and from what Xalden had said they sounded like retransfer students. Which meant that they were students who had gone to school there before. Meaning the redhead had a high possibility of knowing them.

 _I'm pretty sure everyone knows them.._

 _Especially you.._

Axel tried to shake off the thought but Aerith was quietly stunned by the sound of it. Xalden spoke of a year absence. Even Demyx seemed off as well as Kairi; whom wasn't like herself all throughout the day.

Axel started to question whether people around him were avoiding the subject with him on purpose. That or he was just being really unreasonable. Paranoid in a sense. It wasn't that big of a deal; at least.. it shouldn't have been.

"Kairi.." the redhead mumbled out loud.

Moving his body to get off the bed, Axel tread his feet across the carpet to his door; which he slowly opened and peaked his head out into the hallway. Leaving his door open behind him he walked down the hardwood floor to his sister's door at the end. Her door was slightly ajar so he leaned his head in to see Kairi was laying on her bed, bottom pressed against the wall as her legs laid flat on the vertical surface. Headphones were tangled up in her hair and Axel could hear the vibration of music playing from her phone.

Axel knocked harshly on the wooden frame of her door in an attempt to catch her attention. Kairi's head instantly titled back to see her brother standing awkwardly between her room and the hallway. She then flung her legs away from the wall so that she could roll over to sit up in her bed. Her brother took this as a sign to come on in and made his way over to a circle chair in the middle of her room. He plopped down into the cushion as Kairi pulled her headphones out and wrapped them up to put away.

"Y'know that didn't look so comfortable." Axel said pointing up towards her wall with his hand briefly.

She chuckled a bit as she glanced back towards that wall, "Surprisingly it was. So what's up?"

To which he replied with a shrug of the shoulders, "Iunno."

Their exchange of words seemed like an innocent enough conversation starter but it was actually a way to get an idea on their emotional state. Axel's choice of words and actions letting his sister know that he wasn't well and that something was up. Siblings usually had closer bonds and with the two of them being twins made it even more apparent; their lack for words in order to communicate and being each other greatest source of emotional support to show for that. Sharing a womb with someone was a beautiful yet strange phenomenon.

After a little bit of silent Kairi finally lifted her head to voice her concern, "Y'know Axe.. you've had your head in the clouds all day. Something bothering you?"

Smirking a bit he avoided the question with his own concern, "I could say the same about you honestly. Are you okay?"

"I didn't sleep." she admitted, "I was up all night talking to Riku.. He overheard a while ago about some transfer students and was really excited. And well.. I can't get my mind off of it."

He sucked his lip in between his teeth, "Yeah.. same actually."

"It's hard isn't it?"

Shrugging his shoulders he flipped through the photo album on his phone as a distraction, "I guess so.. I sorta panicked this morning only to realised that _this_ day _next_ week is that day. I mentioned it to mum and she like.. totally spaced on me and then cried ye."

Kairi let out an airy laugh, "Yeah that's mum for you though.."

The male sibling however caught her underlying tone and blurted out, "Y'know, you've actually seem kinda angry all day."

"Like I said, I was up all night talking to Riku." she folded her arms, "He keeps filling my brain up with ideas.. won't shut up about it."

"Cause he thinks it's them?"

"See now I don't want to be an ass but I don't think so.. Or well.. I dunno.. If it is them I'll be surprised and all sorts of emotional."

Axel's stomach flipped when a thought hit him, cause he knew he'd been doing it all along as well, "I feel like.. everyone's avoiding their names on purpose.."

Kairi blinked at him for a moment but arched her brow up, "Only you would notice that.." he shrugged and she continued, "Just because they're re-transferring students doesn't mean that two of them, that the four of them are coming back. I highly doubt it and everyone's excitement has me down in the dumps. I dunno, maybe it's just me."

"No I get it. I think I'm doing the same thing. I don't want to get too excited thinking it's them just to turn around and have my hopes shot down the drain." Axel sucked his lip back in and looked at his sister through the corner of his eye, "But what if it is them.." he murmured silently.

"What would make you think that?"

He glanced up to her before shrugging his shoulders, "Xalden came in while I was in Aerith's office, mentioned two brothers. Aer seemed a little surprised and to me it seemed like Dem avoided the subject around me all together. Maybe I'm just imagining things though. Like I said, no names so it's hard to tell."

Kairi simply sat there looking at her brother as he searched her eyes for an answer, but she looked away; scrolling through her phone as a distraction. She wasn't going to answer any questions and he knew that. So licking his lips he leaned back; eyes wincing up into the lights. Thoughts on how weird this all was and reminding himself that the definition for weird was something strange and unusual, suggesting to the supernatural. Then silently congratulating himself on remembering something like that.

"What do you think?" he asked anyway.

Sounding slightly frustrated that her brother was pushing the subject further, she sharply lifted her gaze onto him, "Look Axe. I would love to tell you 'of course it's them' just like Riku." she tilted her head slightly, glancing to a random location in her room, "But after everything that we went through. After your... y'know.. I don't want you to get your hopes shot down. I don't want to get _my_ hopes down. I already feel you slipping back again. Don't you?" she stated more than asked.

His eyes dulled, sparkles playing behind them as the ceiling light faded everything out into a bright white, "Just a little.."

"Stop staring at the light." She blurted out, causing her brother to close his eyes tightly and reach up to rub them, "Keep that up and you're going to need glasses."

"Whatever." he said before he crossed his arms in the chair.

Kairi watched him for a moment as he sulked in his sudden bad mood and tilted her lips in thought before asking, "Do you want to camp out in your room tonight?"

This pulled Axel out of his soured mood a little, "Sure." by camp out the twins meant sleepover; which included video games, movies and lots of junk food; something they both did when they were upset. Which he didn't blame her for being; he was fairly upset as well.

A minute with silence passed by and Axel stood up reaching over to ruffle his sister's hair before leaving her room in favour of his own.

* * *

Leaning back over, Axel wiped his forehead with the back of his arm as sweat seemingly dripped down into his brow. A small strained smile graced his lips as he looked over his piano. He had neglected it for long that cleaning it became a must and took a few hours. Getting the dust out of from all the nits and crannies was a chore in itself. He was just finishing up wiping the residue from the wood polish and was pleased with the outcome. It wasn't perfect but the permanent scratches bought character to the instrument.

After already tuning the strings back all that was left was to drag his music out of the closet and start playing. He wiped his hands off onto a clean wash cloth and walked towards his closet, yanking the doors back he searched the top shelves for a box; finally picking out the right box, he tugged it down from it's place and dropped it down to the floor. He opened the box and pushed back a few things before he found the folder that kept copies of all his pieces but once he flipped the folder open he was brought on by disappointment.

He stood there, blinking a few times before glancing back down to the box that he had dragged out of the closet. He slowly plopped himself down onto the floor, tucking his legs in as he searched throughout the box. A good half an hour passed and he had pulled out everything from the box and torn through a few others that sat in his closet. It was nowhere to be found. He didn't own much to begin with; a dresser, a night stand, a bed and a entertainment centre with TV. It's not like his music had anywhere left to hide from him unless he had thrown it away and forgot about it. Though he doubted he had done that.

So making way out the room and down the stairs, he caught his mother in the living room. He waited quietly and stood next to her as she sat on the couch till she lifted her head at him, directing her attention with a 'mm?'.

"Have you seen my music anywhere?" he asked.

She lifted her brow to him, "Is it not in your room?"

"I looked everywhere and I can't find it."

Alina's brows furrowed in confusion, "That's odd. You didn't throw it out did you?" Axel shook his head in answer, "Hmm well I'll keep an eye out for you." she offered a smiled and went to carry on watching her show.

Sighing in response he simply made his way back into his room and to the folder to stare inside of it. It was odd; he only ever put sheets in, never taken them out. Not for anything. A knock on his door frame caught him off guard and brought him out of his thoughts.

He turned around and saw his mother had her head poked in through the door, a hand resting on the frame, "Listen honey.." she started off, "about Friday.. If you want to stay home I can have Kairi-"

"Don't worry about it mum." Axel cut her off with a shrug, looking back to his empty folder, "We're just going in for our class syllabus. I'll be done by lunch again."

She hummed in response, "Well if you say so, but if your change your mind it's okay with me."

"Alright.." he looked to her as she gave him a worried smile before turning around and going back down stairs.

After a moment of silence and staring back and forth between his piano and the folder a voice finally decided to ask him a question.

 _Why did you stop playing?_

"Iunno.." Axel replied, reaching out to close his bedroom door, lest anyone hear him talking out loud to himself.

 _Why did you stop?_

"I just didn't feel like it any more." he muttered with a roll of his eyes.

The voice dimmed down to a whisper in the back of his head.

 _Maybe he'll help you with that feeling._

Axel furrowed his brows at this but the voice answered his silent question.

 _Your friend, of course._

"I don't know anyone, sorry." he said smugly, moving to sit down on the bed.

 _Of course you do._

"I don't know who you're talking about.." he muttered, laying down in his bed as he slowly bundled himself up in his blankets.

 _Don't play dumb with me. You only started playing that piano because of him. Open your eyes. Look around you. He's everywhere._

"Shut up." Axel growled in his throat, pulling his knees up and burying his face. He wanted it to stop, to be reassured the voice wasn't real; the idea did not settle right with him.

 _Maybe if you'd stop acting like a child. Fine. Lay there and mope. Let's see how far it gets you._

"Shut up.." Axel whined into his bed, hands moving closer to hold his face.

 _Don't stress yourself out asking something when you already know._

Axel's mind started to reel as he couldn't handle any of it. He didn't know anything about anyone; _didn't_ _want_ to know anything about anyone. Especially not any more, so his voice rose in frustration, "Shut up."

The voice however kept on taunting him in the hollows of his mind so lifting his head and glaring at the wall across from himself, Axel shouted out, "Shut up! Shut up. Shut up. _Shut_. _Up_." the redhead chanted to himself.

In reality his bedroom was quiet and he knew this. He knew that the only voice that was filling the air was his own. It was impossible for it to be this noisy and yet there he was. He knew it wasn't real, knew that it couldn't be real but his head spun and a fever rose throughout his body. So Axel finally took hold of one of his pillows, violently shoving his face into the soft fabric and released everything that was building into his chest into a ear shattering scream. His lungs exploded as his head throbbed in response; screaming loud enough his voice crack and an itch formed in the back of his throat.

Axel slowly felt the onslaught of a panic attack creeping its way through his muscles. He sat up in bed real quick and placed the palms of his hands over his eyes and slowly pressed them further and closer in. Trying hard to hold in the pressure that was building up inside of him. A small sob managed to past through his lips causing a whole tidal wave the erupt from within. A blood curdling, painful sob broke through his throat. He sat there like that, palms pressed into his eyes as he sobbed the pain out; finally pulling his hands away from his eyes causing his vision to explode into white before colours scattered across his walls.

For a split second he was sure he had caught a glimpse of his friend.

Axel shot up from his bed; breathing heavy with a hand over his mouth and his eyes wide open in horror. He frantically searched the walls of his room before letting out a shaky sigh; running an equally shaky hand down his face and through his hair. The feeling of deja vu twisted his stomach. He threw the blankets off of himself and made his way into the bathroom. He pulled a towel up to the toilet for his knees as he held the sides of his hair back as he leaned over into the bowl. Gagging and coughing he emptied his anxiety ridden stomach. Tears falling over his burning cheeks as he moved to lean against the wall after flushing the evidence down. His breath came in and out in small quiet sobs.

He reached up to wipe his face of the tears and saliva, relief washing over him as the episode seemed to pass over his body. Axel had managed to calm down before the door creaked open, followed by the sounds of feet padding over towards him then a hand on his shoulder.

"Axel?" Kairi's voice hovered over him. He stayed quiet as he heard the sink running and soon a cool towel was placed on his face.

As his head throbbed he murmured out, "It was just a panic attack.. I'm sorry."

She shook her head, "Shh.. it's okay. I thought I heard you crying so I came in to check on you." she said as she placed the towel on each of his cheeks, "Glad I found you before mum did."

"Don't tell her." he begged.

"Of course not." she almost sounded offended, "She wouldn't understand."

Once in the bedroom the taller of the redheads noticed that the two voices began to mix in his head as he was asked questions.

 _Are you okay?_ mingled with, "Do you want to go to sleep?"

His head felt light, vision blurring and he was dizzy but he managed to shake his head no.

 _But you need it_ was mixed with his sister's, "But you look like you're about to pass out."

Axel scoffed as he moved to lay on his side, sister walking over to the window to pull the curtain back.

 _What's wrong?_

The male teen murmured quietly enough his sister wouldn't hear, "Just go away."

With that said the presence hovering over him was gone, leaving a wave of exhaustion to wash over him; filling the void in his stomach and calming him down. Locked up memories flowed freely now that their captor was too tired to conceal them. School field trips to birthday parties flashed through his mind. Sleepovers to everyday things, pranks and tears mixed with laughter.

Axel buried his face into his pillow as he went over the last memory he had of his friend, sleep taking over his body despite not wanting it to. Kairi slipped down amongst the sheets and pulled the blanket over the two of them. Her face turned into a frown as she watched the silently crying frame of her dear sibling.

He was slipping back just like she thought, or maybe he had already gone back to that dark place again. His mind not able to cope the thoughts she knew he was repressing. She wanted to say something, ask him if he knew. If he finally let himself accept it.

Then Axel spoke up. His voice a broken whisper within his cracking voice. Shoulders shaking as he silently sobbed and all it took was one name and suddenly Kairi didn't know how to feel about the situation any more.

"I don't want to see Roxas."

* * *

 **A/N -** Well that was that for chapter two. Sorry for the emotional roller coaster. Again I'm sorry that the story starts off slow. The next chapter is where things start to get interesting I promise. Unless you already find this interesting then thank you. Please do Fav/Follow it means a lot to me. If you see anything wrong with the grammar or my spelling let me know. I'll fix it quickly. Reviews would be nice to let me known how my grammar and word usage is. Are chapters too short? I'm not sure actually. Anyway I already have chapters 3-14 written up. Just need to edit them and I will post a new one every Sunday Central time.


	3. Choking

**A/N -** Chapter three. Hopefully we're getting somewhere on this. I apologise now if you think the story is progressing slowly. Roxas will not show up until the sixth chapter I believe. I'm trying to get a feel for the time and placement and mostly Axel who is the main character. Anyway this will be the last time I write a A/N at the beginning. Unless I feel like I need to warn you of something particular or if a new character pops up that I need a disclaimer for. You know the drill.

Story is Kingdom Hearts, I do not consider this a crossover with Final fantasy since all characters present exist in the KH world.  
LGBT. I prefer not to use the term yaoi.  
Mild language, Dark themes such as some forms of schizophrenia, Depression, Anxiety, Dealing with loss and grief.  
Acts of violence. Maybe some anger issues in the future. Rated M for these reasons.

If these subjects are touchy for you, I'd advise to read with caution.

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the current characters mentioned in this story except for OC's that are in fact, parents.

Now then, let's get started

* * *

 **CoDependent**

 **o3 – Choking**

 _The truth is hard to swallow when you're choking on your pride  
_ \- Meat loaf

* * *

Birds chirped outside the window as the sun's rays made their way through the blinds and gently brushed against the twin's cheeks. The taller of the two grimaced, pushing his brows together as he rolled over in his sheets and winced at the sunlight. Letting out a grunt of annoyance he stood up from the bed, feet making way over so he could go ahead with closing the curtains.

Turning back around he noted his sister lying in bed and that the clock on the night stand stating it was roughly mid eight. Axel shuffled his feet back over to the bed where he reached down for a discarded shirt that sat in a pile along with his sister's pyjama pants. Huffing to himself he reached back down and grabbed the soft fabric before tossing it over her face as he continued his way into the bathroom.

The morning proceeded slowly but with peace; a soft gentle glow bouncing off the walls of the room and tinting it a soft orange amongst the pale crème walls. Kairi slowly got up out of the sheets, ignoring her pyjamas in favour of sitting in bed with her overly large night shirt. Her brother was no different in his laziness as he sat on the cool varnished seat in front of his piano in his boxers; the wood chilling his bare legs as he turned towards his sister.

"What's the point of having pyjamas if you never wear them?"

Kairi rolled her eyes in response, "I do wear them. Just not when I'm sleeping. You know I get too hot. Besides it's not like I'm naked."

"I hope not." Axel chuckled lightly.

"Oh shush, we're both in our underwear. How 'bout a song to set the mood?" Kairi joked.

Axel snapped his fingers, "How about the solo from 'My Heart Will Go On'?"

"If mum hears that she'll start getting emotional." she giggled, "You know she loves the Titanic."

After joking around for a few minutes the twins finally slipped on more appropriate clothes and made their way down stairs into the kitchen; their mother was already present as she finished putting breakfast out on the island bar.

"Morning dears." she greeted them happily as she moved a plate of food towards the both of them.

Axel pulled out a bar stool and took a sit looking at the food she had made; usual breakfast with eggs, spinach, sausage, and a side of fruit. Axel reached over to grab himself a tortilla shell and fixed himself a makeshift breakfast burrito while his sister opted for eating her food with a fork. Alina washed her hands and dried them on a towel before sitting down to join her two children. About half way through their breakfast did Axel make a point to look over at the empty plate that sat on the other end of the bar. Axel frowned at this and sighed, straightening up a bit more as he continued to eat his food slower.

After a small conversation between Kairi and their mother, Alina's attention turned to her son, "So what all did you end up doing yesterday? Oh, did you ever find your music?"

"No." he mumbled through his food before getting a drink and wiping his mouth with a napkin, "And not much, cleaned the piano.. um, I took a nap. Like I said." he then added nervously, remembering the 'panic attack' he had before going to bed; or 'nap' as he had called it.

"Well maybe the music will turn up eventually."

He lifted a brow and turned his head towards her, "Did you go out somewhere yesterday?"

"Mm.. no, how come?" she asked, placing her napkin down.

He pressed his lips together before looking down to his empty plate, "So you didn't.. hear anything then?"

"Not a peep. Why? Should I've?"

"Aha no.. I guess not."

"Yeah Axe.. I was down the hall and I didn't hear anything.." Kairi went to giggle to herself, "Why? Break a piano string or something?"

Axel looked to his sister, knowing full well she was doing her best to also cover for him. He sent her a thankful glance before shrugging his shoulders to their mother, "Oh no, I was just wondering. The house got so quiet it was probably the only reason I actually got to nap." he joked with them.

They all laughed and proceeded to tease one another. Internally however Axel felt bad about the lie but tried to pushed his feelings aside as he stood up. Making way to the sink to help with the dishes. He silently placed both the empty plates and glasses into the cupboard.

"I'm going for a walk.." he told his mother as he slipped his shoes over his feet. She nodded her head, yelling back to the door telling him to be safe.

Throwing his hoodie over his head he made his way out the door and down the path to the side walk. In an annoying fashion he shoved his hands into his jacket pocket, taking full pleasure in kicking every rock he happened upon.

"Why does she have to act like that?" he mumbled out loud, tongue tracing over his dry lips.

 _Act like what?_

The redhead stopped and looked around; finding he was still alone with no one else around him, he lifted a brow and spoke more softly towards himself.

"Y'know.. with the plates and stuff."

 _Doesn't she do that because your-_

The redhead sighed internally. There was that voice again. Never leaving him alone and never going away, "Yeah.." he cut the voice off, "Because of my brother and my.." he bit into his lip and scoffed to himself, "Heh, forget it." he shook his head, fist clenched at his sides as he started to jog on down the road.

As the sun rose its way higher into the sky the redhead found himself at his childhood playground; a small symbol that meant he was on the edge of the suburban homes and right outside the city. Breath ragged and chipped, he slowly stopped underneath an awning near some picnic benches. Pulling his hoodie off and using it to wipe the sweat from his brow he slightly cursed himself as he could feel his thighs sticking to his jeans as see his shirt clinging to his torso.

"Damn. I really need to start working out more." He sighed deeply, catching his breath and turned to face the wall of buildings; towers of skyscrapers that signalled a whole new territory. He frowned at it as he then tied the sleeves of his hoodie around his waist; making way to the drinking fountain to dump his head under the cool water and shake it out of his hair. While he was there he might as well walk around he figured.

It was the same as always. Sand pit blocked off with a short plastic and wooden fence. Swing set, slide, the monkey bars and of course an actual sandbox. Off around it was a cobbled walkway throughout the wooded forest of the park.

He stood up, walked through the sand and past the swings; hand gripping the bars and pulling them lightly with him as he left the pit and stepped onto the path. The swing eerily creaked in the back of his mind.

The forest extended for quite a ways, offering the last bit of nature till the ground turned to stone as one would enter the world of the city. Axel never really went there least it was for doctors appointments, clothes shopping, hanging at the mall and stuff of the sorts. It all had this looming sense of dread to him. He preferred being able to see the open sky. Maybe the city just made him feel trapped like a bird in a cage.

Towards the centre of the woods was a creak. Axel walked over the small stone bridge and took note of the very old water fountain. A few yards away from him he made the cross to the open circle of cobble; stopping in front of the massive structure to lean against of the wired wooden park benches and look down into the water. The water was a mix of rusted metals and the colour of steel. A lack of sunlight making it look dull and dead. His reflection showed no emotion as he stared into the smooth surface.

Making a small noise in the back of his throat his head moved up to look at the stone statues that made up the actual fountain. Traditional sculptures of baby angels holding vases and pouring water into the pond underneath it.

Of course the redhead thought that their faces looked creepy and were in no way comforting, but that was just everyone's feelings he assumed. Blinking down at his reflection first he then stood up straight. Digging around in his pockets hoping for some kind of change before pulling out a penny; taking it and flipping it into the air he tossed it into the water below. Wishing wells and of the sort probably didn't work for most people but this was actually an old habit of the redhead's. It was the idea that brought comfort and peace of mind to him. It was roughly around nine months ago when he'd merely hang out here and throw in change to clear his thoughts. Back then he was simply in a state of melancholy.

Though now that he thought about it he couldn't quite remember much. He only knew that his junior year started off badly. Shortly after that he started hanging out at the park and with some mentionable company. Stopped playing the piano and mostly everything he had liked. After that is was all, well blank.

Axel's brows pulled together and he turned to sit on the edge of the fountain. Folding his hands together he stared into the interlocking folds of his fingers. Confusion unsettling to his stomach. He honestly had a massive blank spot in his memory. What was worse was he didn't know why that was. Nothing bad or tragic had happened to him. He plainly seemed to have forgotten literally months of, well, whatever it was that he did during that time.

He bit at his thumbnail, muttering out loud, "Damn, I hope I wasn't tweaked out of my mind." he then laughed that thought off because he knew better. He never did things like drink alcohol or do drugs. Well.. maybe he did drink once in awhile but that never hurt him before. Then again it's not like people remembered much when they were hung over.

"Yo! Axel!" someone shouted in his direction which drove him out of his thoughts. He glanced up and saw that Demyx and Zexion were walking from an opposed path towards him and the fountain.

Despite thinking it was odd seeing those two there Axel held a hand in greeting and shouted back, "Yo!"

The dirty blond started trotting towards where the redhead and stopped in front of him with a huge grin. Zexion just took his time making way over but once he was did he merely smiled, "Haven't seen you here in awhile."

"Yeah didn't expect to see you guys.." the redhead offered a sheepish grin.

Demyx turned to his side and began to poke his companion in the side repeatedly, "See," he stated, "I told you so."

"Sure.." Zexion said shoving the attacking digit away from himself.

This of course confused Axel who then had to voice this as a, "Told you so what?"

Demyx happily turned and explain that the two of them had a bet on whether or not the redhead still came to the park. Demyx still believed that he did and was certain that they would just miss him by time. Whereas Zexion believed that the redhead stopped going altogether for whatever reason.

"Yeah so I just knew you still came here so bleh." he said sticking his tongue out at the bluenette.

The redhead bit the side of his tongue, "Um yeah.." he said. Even though it was just a white lie he still felt bad about it. Zexion was right. He hadn't been going there for awhile now and this fact seemed to upset him greatly; though he still found it odd that they would bet on something so trivial in the first place.

"Anyway." Demyx tried to change the subject, "Zex's staying at my house till school starts. Think ya wanna come hang out? We could go buy school supplies or something." he offered a big smile before adding, "It's been awhile since we all hung out anyway." as if he were trying to guilt trip the redhead.

Axel hummed in response before shrugging his shoulders, "Sure. I'll just tell my mum then walk over I guess."

"Sweet! So Saturday it is." the teen exclaimed as he decided it was a great idea to walk around the wall of fountain to test his luck of falling in.

The bluenette rolled his eyes but still had a small smile on the corner of his lips as he watched his friend. Though Axel lifted a brow and hummed in thought; either he really hadn't hung out with them in so long or he never paid attention before but he didn't remember those two being so close knit. In fact, if anything, Zexion always got really annoyed with Demyx and everyone figured he disliked the boy. Now they seemed chained at the hip.

That was until the shorter of the three offered his hand to Demyx, helping the teen to get off the wall that Axel instantly pictured some bizarre prince and his princess before him. Their eyes were all sparkly as well though that was probably from the sunlight being filtered through the trees and not the scene playing out before him in his head.

He decided not to say anything though, not yet anyway. He didn't want to ask anything that would offend the two of them. Feeling awkward with the situation that's when he stood up and offered the two of them a small smile, "I think I'm going to head back home now."

Demyx frowned but nodded, "Aw okay. Say hi to your sister for me."

"Yeah say hi to yours for me too." Axel replied, waving to the two before getting up and walking back the way he had came.

Though when the redhead made sure he was no longer in view sight he quickly made a different turn and headed deeper into the woods, away from the park and more towards the city. After awhile of spacing out in his thoughts he came to a clearing and lifted his head. The city was just down this road and in front of him was a lot to an inn that sat between the suburban town he lived in and the city itself.

He walked up to where the park's path met the pavement to the street and looked at the decently old two story inn. Axel took his time to remember the few nights he had stayed there simply for the hell of it. Nights when family would visit his house and he wanted to avoid them without worrying his friends. It wasn't like the inn was bad, even given a name such as the 'Inn-between'.

The second story had all small bedrooms with miniature bar like kitchens and a bathroom. The first floor had it's own small shop and a two sectioned café, one smoking and one none. Also the first floor was recently added in with a fenced in pool area out back; for more attention purposes.

Though considered an inn it was slowly remodelled over the years to be more like a miniature hotel but still an inn nevertheless.

When a huff lead to a yawn Axel took note of the sun in the sky, deciding that then was a good time to finally head back. However he walked this time and blocked out anything that would drive him to run till his heart burst with anger again. Jogging on and off like that had worn him out.

Finally in the afternoon he found himself walking down the pavement of his street, lifting a brow as he saw Kairi wave good-bye to a silver haired teen going in the opposite direction. Axel shoved his hands into his pocket again as he walked up the driveway and stopped. One foot propped onto the step to the house, he turned his head towards the guy walking away.

"Riku?" he asked his sister.

Who hummed and put a hand on her hip to look at him, "Yeah. He wanted to know if I was free to hang out this weekend."

"When are you not free?" the taller of the two laughed as he made his way inside. Kairi pouted as she followed him and crossed her arms.

After stepping in and kicking his shoes off the only male of the house waved quickly to his mother in the living room and then trotted up the stairs to his room. Going straight for the dresser to change into more comfortable clothes he slipped into some shorts before his sister walked in behind him.

"Help..?" Axel whimpered as his shirt got stuck in the spikes of his hair. Kairi shook her head and walked over to him to yank the shirt down in front of him and tilt her head as he sat down on the bed.

"So where did you go for almost six hours?"

The male teen looked up with his brows, "There's no way I was gone for that long." he smiled in disbelief as he turned to see his clock which clearly said it was a quarter past three, "Oh. Well shit."

"Yeah so.. where were you?" she asked as she plopped down on his bed.

Axel stretched and fell down onto the bed beside her, folding his hands over his stomach to watch the blades swirl around on his ceiling fan, "I went for a walk. Ended up at the park, ran into Dem and Zex. Gonna hang out with them this weekend."

"Wow really?" she quirked a brow and gave him a look but he simply shrugged in reply.

"Yeah, Dem says hi.."

She hummed and leant back on a hand, "Surprised you actually agreed. You haven't really hung out with anyone in awhile.. so.." she shrugged and patted her brother's shoulder, "Good for you." the girl smiled, pushing herself off the bed then walking out of the room; closing the door behind her to leave the male alone with his thoughts.

Axel sat up, dangling his arms over his legs, eyes darting through the carpet on his floor before he slowly stood up. Feet dragging over to the piano he trailed his fingers over the cool varnish as he moved around in front of the piano. Taking a deep breath he reached over and opened the window, the curtains moving slowly around him as he softly sat down and opened the fall board of his piano.

His fingers lingered over the keys, touch ghostly against the ivory. He made have cleaned his piano but he hadn't touched it with any intention for more than half a year.

Breath grew shaky as he slowly pressed down on a single note. The sound filled his room causing him to flinch his hand back, "Heh.." he voiced, shaking his head before resting his forehead on the piano's fall board. His eyes looked down to the keys as he lifted his hand back up. Biting his lip as eyes nervously watched his fingers push down on a simple c cord.

He then let out a relieved sigh. It didn't sound like the piano needed any more tuning.

Not wanting to dive straight into a melody he placed his left hand on the keys to play the more mellow deeper notes. Second G sharp, third D sharp and then followed by the third G sharp together with the middle C. Adding on to the deeper bass he played a second D sharp, second A sharp, third F then finished the cord with a third A sharp together with the fourth D.

Feeling more confident in his memory of the notes he placed his right hand on the keys and started the song over with the melody added in. Sixth C, fifth G and F; Sixth D then C, fifth G and F.

So he played another chord which slowly trailed into a chorus of notes and rhythms. Slowly his back straighten up as his thumb moved and the rest of his fingers danced along with it. Notes flying through his room, escaping out the window and through the cracks in his door. The melody forming as it leaked out into the rest of the world. Soon he found himself unable to stop.

His heart swelled and his palms began to get clammy. His thoughts lingering on wondering why in the world he could ever give up something so magical. Something so empowering as this. This sound that was soft and sweet and grew louder with compassion. What once was slow but grew with such an overwhelming feeling that he had long forgotten.

The redhead felt the notes lodge in his throat as he hummed along with the piano. The two of them had made music for years and the piano was glad to finally be shown some attention. Plenty of people knew this song but there was a way that Axel played a piano that was different. It differed in emotion, seeing as the piano had been a gift with a purpose.

He had never played the piano without intent. Meaning behind every song and every note he had ever touched in his life. There never had been 'spur of the moment' or 'messing around' attempts. He had always had a purpose.

Sooner or later, despite the people who had been listening outside or the family who were enjoying inside, wanted; the teen finished off his song with a few more chords and some slowed down single note melodies before his hands stilled.

He bit his lip and slowly moved the fall board back down over the keys and sat there in silence. Eerie quietness with only the smallest echoes in the back of his mind that proved he had even played anything. He sat there as if almost waiting for someone to walk into his room and say something about it but that moment never came.

So he sat there in the quiet not sure what to think or how long he had sat there before getting up. Walking into the bath he flipped the switch on and proceeded with brushing his teeth and washing his face in an automatic way. Stared at himself in the mirror for what seemed like eternity, taking note of the smallest things about himself.

The way he would sway lightly or how the hair in front of his ears looked longer on one side than the other. How his eyes became a brighter green the more tired he was rather than awake. The small freckles next to the bridge of his nose and way his mouth was shaped into a permanent frown.

The stinging sensation from staring caused him to finally look away and blink the burning tears that formed away. He shook his head and tiredly rubbed his face, reaching down to cover a yawn. Hand through slid up his face as he staggered over to his bed and plopped down onto the sheets. The ceiling fan quiet above him.

He buried his face into his hands, fingers moving up onto his hair and his nails dug into his scalp. His knees bumped together, elbows digging into his thighs as his back arched downward onto the rest of his body. Folding himself up he took a deep breath but couldn't stop the small sob that escaped his throat.

He should have been happy; should have been proud of himself. The piano, the music, the sounds and notes; the beauty of it all was still there right in the tips of his fingers. He never lost the feeling like he believed he had. Yet he was heartbroken. The reason he even learned to play in the first place wasn't there and for all he considered, was gone forever.

In a slight hint of sudden rage he shot up off the bed, angrily turning the light off and locking his door. Crawling back to the bed he set his alarm for the morning; wanting nothing more than to take up his mother's offer of letting him stay home on Friday. It almost seemed like the woman knew this would happen.

Throwing a pillow over his head and blanket over his body, he created a cocoon around himself; curling up into a tight ball and chewing on the sides of his tongue. He tried hard to fall asleep, to stop thinking so much. Wanting to quiet his mind and freeze his feelings into place.

Ignoring those feelings however only made things worse as his lips turned themselves down and his brows knitted together. Teeth gritted before he opened his mouth to breath in what his nose wasn't offering him. That was when another sob choked out, leading to another then another. Tears formed and rolled off into his bed and soaked into the side of his hair, pooling at the base of his ear.

Axel hid his face into the bed, shoulders shaking as the moment seemed to drag itself on. Finally he bit down on his tongue, placing his hands on the sides of his cheeks to stop himself from choking out any more. Tears still pouring but silently as exhaustion once again washed over him.

Moving himself so his head laid on top his pillow where it was dry, he tightly wrapped the blanket around himself. Covering his mouth and taking in the scent of fabric softener, he stared into the screen of brightly lit numbers. Watching the clock till his vision faded around it.

He played the piano piece from earlier over in his mind. Softer notes swirling in his head and took comfort in their embrace. The melodies replacing thoughts and soon found himself drifting off into a more peaceful mind set. The music in his mind burying the questions he had for the day ahead.

* * *

A/N - I want to point out now that the piano piece Axel played is Dearly beloved. If you follow the notes I listed you should be able to play the very beginning. I figured whenever he plays the piano it should be something from KH. Kyle Landry is hands down the best pianst I've heard play Dearly Beloved. Please go listen to his covers. He makes a new one every year. ANYWAY I hope you enjoyed this chapter. Fav/Follow and review. Let me know if anything seems off or my grammar. Spellings and all that.


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